rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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