omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
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The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
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when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.