She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me