i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.