i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
