i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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