Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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