Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize