The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
just found out that she named her cat after me.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
