A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
