I don't usually arrange sex via text message
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
