i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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