I'm so fucking centered right now
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
