Sponge bath it is.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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