Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
