My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
