Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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