saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet