I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
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k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck