Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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