you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize