i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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