So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
