fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
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Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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