oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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