I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
