It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
