the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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