she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.