Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
