Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I am naked and annoyed.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
