4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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