if you like me you must not know who I am
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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