Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
