Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
