if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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