I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just pee around me
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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