I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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