sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
