we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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