No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
