you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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