I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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