PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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