You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
