No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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