Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
