Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
The power of my boobs compel you
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
