Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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