he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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