when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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