i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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