I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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