Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
