I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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