Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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