Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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