Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
