She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
