Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
