okay pat passed out under dana's car
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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