she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
