She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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