I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
The power of my boobs compel you
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
