i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
